By Lisa Cummins, Wish Mom

My wish has always been for my children to be happy and healthy. A brain tumor, diagnosed at age two, threatened that desire for my daughter, Lauren. Year after year, Lauren faced one challenge after another as it slowly grew. There was chemo after chemo, surgery after surgery, and progressive loss of her sight. By the time she was eleven, she was completely blind.

Though she lost her sight, she never let go of the vision of how she wanted to live her life. She would say she’s HPH (Happy, Positive and Healthy) and made bracelets of stars, butterflies and hearts, saying she put love, energy and power into every bead.

The day came when we got the news no parent ever wants to hear - Lauren’s tumor turned malignant and there was nothing more that could be done. Though we had her with us for another amazing year, she passed away two weeks after her seventeenth birthday.

Nothing can prepare you for the loss of a child. The grief that flowed was like endless ocean waves. At times, I felt as if I were taken under, caught in the undertow… unable to breathe as I was tossed around. I was lost in the darkness until somehow, I finally came up and gasped for air.

I remember being stunned that the sun could continue to shine and the world spin without my child in it, but it did. But there is one thing I have come to realize will always be there -- her love.

The unconditional love I feel for my child is like no other. I loved her before she was born, while she was here and now while she is in heaven. It’s been seven long years since Lauren left this earth, but I’ve come to realize while we lose our loved ones, we never lose their love. Wherever I go, she goes. I take her love with me.

So, while this is a story of great loss, it’s also one of great love that knows no time or distance. Love is an incredible thing. It can bring overwhelming happiness and joy as well as unimaginable pain and sorrow.

My wish on this Mother’s Day is for every mother to know that we are always “mother” to our children, whether on earth or in heaven. If you have children that are still here, hug them and let them know how much you love them. For those who have lost a child, I hope you have found ways of your own to heal and feel the love of your child that is always with you.

Mother’s Day, for me, includes “mothering” myself. I’ll buy myself some pink flowers or a present I know Lauren would want me to have. I look for signs and messages from her. This past week I found a rock in the shape of a heart while walking on the beach. All this let’s me keep my heart open and allows me to feel her love.

My heart and my love go out to us all. May you always feel the love of your child and know what a beloved mother you are!

-----

Lauren’s wish to visit Walt Disney World Resort to meet Disney princesses was granted in 2004. She was four years old at the time, and had just finished chemo for what was then considered a benign brain tumor. Even years later, we remember it as one of the most incredible and memorable vacations we have ever taken as a family. I was overwhelmed by the kindness and generosity of everyone we met.

We have gone back to volunteer many times.  My son, Christopher, said it made his heart happy to help other families enjoy the magic of vacationing. He loved to watch children smiling and laughing and have the opportunity to act “normal” even if for just a week (with the added bonus of no cost to the family).  I think volunteering has been very healing for him.

Part of my healing was to write a book about the journey I took with my daughter. It’s called “Lauren’s Vision” and is my tribute to my daughter and the inspirational life she lived. All book proceeds go to a charitable fund I established in her name – this year it’s supporting Make-A-Wish. The fund continues to grow just like her love and allows us to continue spreading her love, energy, and power in the world.