July always makes me think of us as a nation declaring our independence (even though so many here in America were not afforded that independence, as my black husband reminds me), but when I think of independence, it won’t surprise most of you that I have different ideas around this subject.
Early on, I struggled with fear of being accepted, liked, you name it- I was afraid of it. It’s taken years of working on myself to understand better that I needed to declare my independence from these negative constructs I had created for myself. And while I can’t say I’m entirely free of fear, I’m better than I was and continue to be a work in progress.
When it comes to Make-A-Wish, I’m thinking of how wishes provide independence to our kiddos. When we begin the discovery process of wishes, we work with children to think outside of their medical journey or physical limitations to determine their wishes. It surprised me that many of our kiddos tend to carry guilt about taking time away from the family, and other siblings, as their parents focus on the one child’s medical journey. So often, when choosing anything from the “Anything Kingdom,” our kids are stumped. They look to their parent, a sibling, or even volunteers to help them. But as I always tell our team, we don’t “paint” wishes on our kiddos, and we must have a strong “why of the wish” to know this is the child’s wish and not someone in the family’s wish.
What you see as you work with these kiddos is that they begin to see themselves through a new lens. They have little to no control over their school schedule, doctor appointments, treatments, etc., but THIS, this wish they are in complete control over (or should be), and that’s where the real magic begins. When a child starts thinking about what could be for them, it’s a fantastic thing to witness. And you may be surprised that once you get them to this point, they have definite ideas of exactly how they want their wish to go. You may think every wish for a theme park is the same. You’d be wrong. One kiddo wants to meet a princess, the other wants to be a princess, and yet another may be fixated on creating their own lightsaber or whatever the novelty is at that park. It is inspiring to watch them craft their journey, find their independence to ask for what they want, and be the facilitators to allow for that independence.
So, while the treatment facilities for some of our kids offer them a bell to ring at the end of their treatment and that they’re gaining their independence from treatment and moving to the next phase of their medical journey, we here at Make-A-Wish Southern Nevada see their independence as they become more comfortable finding their voice to discuss what they want during the planning period of their wish and then seeing pictures from their wish with their arms outstretched embracing hope, and the possibility of their future. Happy Independence to all!